Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Uncanny Aim

Uncanny Aim

by HMMooreNiver

Somehow the narrow arrow’s point
aims right
and hits the hidden hollow,
that black splatter
deep in the pink
of your heart.

And why wouldn’t it
head straight
for the one scar
you struggled so hard
to heal
all these years?

The single fissure
you have tried
to forget.

for One Shot Wednesday


dustus said...

Love the alliteration, cadence, and overall sound. Reminds me of when someone says something cutting and hits the bull's-eye of a sore spot. Great write. Thanks for linking up!

moondustwriter said...

perfect aim and perfect hit
been there - got that!!

Thanks for the very pertinent poem

Love from the Moon

glad to have you at One Shot

Brian Miller said...

black spatter deepin the pink of your heart...great visual line...very nicely played...

Reflections said...

Ouch, and doesn't it so often have that hidden radar for its target.

the redhead said...

Thanks for the comments, everyone. Still fiddling with the end. I like "fissure," but I'm not sure that added stanza is needed...or holds its weight.

Steve E said...

This is one of those which I read three times. Not because I have to, but because I want to. Thanks.

kenny said...

I like it over again too. I like what the second stanza does to it.

Shashi said...

I liked it very much.. beautiful.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya

Jordan Drew said...

This is beautiful. Love this!

Lauri Miller said...

VERY nice poem. It spoke to me again and again as I reread it :)